A nightmare
by himeoozora
Summary: Momo has a nightmare... a terrible one. and it was all caused by insecurity about his body. (this was supposed to be a tragic, one-chapter fic but i decided to give this story a happy end.)
1. Chapter 1

It haven't been long before he was introduced into this academy by one of his friends. And bit by bit he started to create new friendships.

He made friendships with ones he never thought he'd ever be _able_ to talk to any time soon.

He made friendships with ones he immediately thought looked nice enough to talk to _him_.

He even managed to be a friend of someone.

Someone that later proved that he was _more_ than a friend to him.

…

It started to get dark and Momosuke was already swaying on his way back home.

It've been a two years now since the day he realized he fell in love with a certain someone. Yet, he _never_ mustered enough courage to confess his feelings. _'N, not before I make sure he likes me too! At least…'_ that's what he've been telling himself _the entire time_. And honestly, he grew tired of it.

Unlocking his front door, he sighed. "Tomorrow I'm gonna do it!" he clenched his fist and closed the door behind him.

…

For the longest time, Momosuke have realized that the feeling he held for him are different. The way his heart flutter. The beat his pulse skips whenever he's near him. Even his limbs tremble slightly when they're close for long.

He've never experienced something similar before.

Not with his unit members, not with anyone inside or even outside of Etoile Vio.

It could have confused him for a while, but since he _adores_ reading romantic genre; he knew what kind of feelings he held for that one person.

But at the same time, he caught him staring at him from afar several times, now. He even found the way he hugs his stuffed toy and mutters whatever he wanted to tell him _cute_.

He found it cute. It made his heart flutter, and his face grow hotter.

He doubted that he _might_ have feelings for him, as well. But he surely knew Kanata was a _very_ shy boy, so maybe that's how he'd act around someone he just met, right?

Wrong.

He've been acting like this around Momosuke for the _longest time_ Momosuke can think of!

He must have something for him, right?

…

This is it.

Momosuke asked him to meet at a park on the way back to their homes. For almost half of his way, Kanata would walk on the same path as Momosuke until that one station where they departure.

They've walked together _a million of times_.

They've passed by that park _a million of times_.

And they've sat and chatted there about the silliest things _a million of times_.

But why was it so hard this time?

It was hard staying _too close_ to Kanata on their way back.

It was hard sitting next to him on the same bench.

And it was _so hard_ to open his mouth and just _talk about anything_!

Something inside him screamed that he shouldn't do this.

"Momo, are you all right?" he extended his hand to touch Momosuke's forehead. "Your face is all red—,"

Before he could touch him, Momosuke moved his head away. "I, I'm fine! It must be because of the heat!"

"We're in the middle of December."

"O, oh…"

"Momo I'm afraid you caught a cold! Please, let me walk you back home and—,"

"No! I'm fine! I swear!"

His statement was met with silence, and a gaze filled with doubt.

It hurt a little to get that look from him.

"Kanata… I just wanted to t… tell you something very important!"

"What is it?" Kanata moved a little closer to where Momosuke settled. "Also, do we have to sit this far from each other?"

"N, no…" he scratched the back of his lightly. "A, anyways…"

"Yes, yes. Tell me your important thing." A soft smile, filled with concern and love spread across his lips.

A smile held so much power it made Momosuke's chain of thoughts break in a split second.

"I… uh," he quickly shifted to star at his lab, fingers intertwined.

Seeing him like that made Kanata chuckle. "What now? You look as if you were about to confess your feelings for me!" he smiled, once again, and moved closer. Their shoulders were now pressed against each other.

Momosuke tensed up a little upon being touched _by him_ , even though the touch was very innocent, it made Momo's pulse quicken. "N, no! It's not that! I, I mean… maybe… y, y, yes…" he muttered, hoping that Kanata didn't hear the last few words.

"Y, yes?" But of course he did, they literally have no space between them right now!

Momosuke didn't see it, but Kanata's face was kissed pink like a spring rose. "Momo—,"

"I like you, ok?!" maybe he, kind of, sort of, kinda, shouted these words a _little_ too loud…

Momosuke was glad no one gave them any weird looks. He quickly clutched to his skirt and started to tremble.

"I, I mean… like… in a fri—," before he could finish that dangerous sentence, his lips were forced to stop upon feeling another pair pressed against them.

Kanata's hand held his chin as he processed in kissing him deeply.

Momosuke weakened and immediately gave up to the touch. God, it was a bliss.

Shyly, he moved his hand to grab onto Kanata's jacket firmly, telling him that he wants _more_.

Granting his wish, Kanata slowly opened his mouth, his tongue moved to lick Momosuke's lower lip.

Momosuke moaned almost silently as he opened his mouth as well, allowing Kanata to enter.

But only God knew how clumsy this kid was; he moved his head into the wrong direction; their noses bumped.

"Ow!" breaking their kiss, Momosuke moved his head away to get enough space for their noses not to bump again, but stay as close as possible to Kanata at the same time.

"Hehe~" stroking his cheek, Kanata planted a peck on Momo's lips. "Why don't we go to my apartment?"

"Eh?!" Momosuke was caught off guard.

"D, don't get me wrong! I just thought we might go there and, uh, continue this… in a more private place…"

Ah, that's right. Kanata now lives on his own. He moved to that new apartment few months ago.

Nodding in a heartbeat, Momosuke agreed to join him to **their last station**.

…

"Uwaaah! I was only planning to talk a little then leave! How did things evolve like this…" splashing his face with cold water, Momosuke looked at himself in the mirror.

Biting marks were displayed from his neck down to under the tank top he wore. He traced one of the marks then chuckled to himself. ' _To have your body exposed in front of someone like that sure feels… weird.'_

He wasn't ashamed by it, nor was he regretting what they have just done. Actually, he was happy. _So_ happy he got the chance to be touched and feel loved by someone _in that way_.

Someone whom was very important to him.

He grabbed a hoodie and wore it. The clothes he came with didn't fit to sleep in; so he ended up borrowing Kanata's pajama.

It was soft, comfortable, and more importantly, it had Kanata's scent.

He unlocked the bathroom door and gone back to Kanata's room.

Kanata owned a single bed there. It might have been hard at first for the both of them to fit in together, but they managed at the end, somehow.

He wouldn't let Momosuke go back home this late—and Momosuke refused to be accompanied by him anyways.

Climbing on the bed, Momosuke got himself comfortable as Kanata brushed his hair lovingly.

"I love you." Muttering that, he planted a soft kiss on Momo's forehead.

"Mmm, I know." He got even closer to him, cuddling. "I love you too."

Kanata wrapped his arms around the other's torso, protecting him from whoever could break into the apartment and snatch him away.

Feeling so loved, so warm. Momosuke thought nothing could make him happier.

He allowed himself to fall asleep…

…

 _*crash*_

Something fell on the ground, causing loud crashing noise.

Momosuke woken up, "Wh—," he checked his side and didn't find Kanata there.

He got up and immediately exited the room. He ran through the empty living room and into the kitchen.

There, he found Kanata kneeling on the ground, hands clutched to his stomach.

"… _gry…"_ he groaned in pain.

"K… Kanata?" slowly, he approached him.

However, his feet touched steel. When he looked down he found a bloody knife. Under better examination, Momosuke realized that Kanata had hurt himself.

"Kanata!" he dashed towards him, kneeling down and grabbing his shoulders in fear of how bad the situation is. "What happened? Why would you do this to yourself?" Momosuke couldn't help stopped tears from streaming down his face.

"…?"

Kanata slowly turned his head towards him. The pair of eyes that met Momo's were unfamiliar.

"Wh—,"

The eyes, were bright red. One thing could be read through them, though. One thing that was _hunger_.

Momosuke squealed and he threw himself backwards. He was scared— _terrified_.

He didn't know what _terrified_ him the most, though. Was it the fact that Kanata was looking like a monster that's about to attack his prey. Or was it that the gaping wound in his stomach was spilling too much blood.

"P, please… s, stop! Let me treat that wound!" it felt as though his words didn't reach Kanata; he got no response but a death glare.

Slowly, _Kanata_ started to crawl towards him. _"H… hun… gry…."_ He muttered. _"It… hurts… it hurts so much. I… I need to eat…"_

"Y, you're hungry? I c, can make you something to eat—,"

With one jump, _Kanata_ was on top of him, pinning him down. _"You look like a good meal… ahaha…"_

"Eh—,"

It all happened in a blink. _Kanata_ was biting down Momo's shoulder, and it was not the kind of biting that was filled with love like earlier.

Momosuke wanted to scream, but nothing within himself moved.

Everything was so very wrong, at that moment.

 _Kanata_ —no, the _demon_ bit through Momo's skin, and in a quick motion, he snatched the chunk of meat off like it was nothing.

He screamed, he screamed as much as he could. But the demon was faster, he put a hand on Momo's mouth, blocking all kinds of _noise_ he could ever cause.

With a hand free, Momosuke tried to move the demon's hand away, nevertheless, it didn't budge.

The sight of his face was blurred out because of the tears now streaming down Momo's cheeks.

" _Come on, don't be annoying. I can end your agony right now and put you to rest. But you'll have to beg me first."_ A devilish smile tugged the demon's bloody lips. He lift his hand off Momo's mouth.

Now that he ate something, it seemed in a much better condition than earlier.

"KANATA! PLEASE HEAR ME OUT!" hopelessly, he yelled those words.

The demon, however, grabbed his throat, squeezing it hard. _"… Idiot. You just wasted your only chance to die instantly."_

Through his teary eyes, Momosuke tried to look around him. He tried to find anything, _anything_ that could save him.

And then, he saw it. He saw the bloody knife he accidentally stepped on.

" _Ah~ I'm sick of eating these already~ I want something juicy~"_ as he said that, he moved downward to bite down Momo's stomach.

This time, Momosuke screamed. And the demon didn't stop him from doing it.

" _Ahaha~ does it hurt? Blame your stupid friend, though. If he didn't stab himself to stop me I wouldn't have been this hungry~"_

' _What? Kanata stabbed himself… to stop the demon?'_

For some reason, realizing that have giving Momosuke more motivation to try to struggle to get to that knife.

It was already so close, he just had to distract the demon.

" _The taste of your blood is magnificent! Too bad it's going to be lost~"_ saying that, he bite down another part of Momosuke's torso.

"UGGGHHH!" God! It hurt so badly! It hurt so much! Why doesn't it stop?

But this was his chance.

With one last push he managed to grab the knife. "DEMON!" with all the power he had left, Momosuke stabbed the demon right through the chest.

With so much effort, considering his gaping wounds, Momosuke fell backwards.

His consciousness started to fade a little; he was dizzy.

Trying to lift his head, he watched as the demon grabbed his head, groaning in pain. _"CURSE YOU!"_ and that was the last thing he said before the redness in Kanata's eyes started to fade.

Short enough, his emerald eyes were finally back; Momosuke eased a little.

"What..?" the first thing he saw was the knife planted in his chest.

Slowly, he gazed to find Momosuke lying underneath him, bleeding from his shoulder and stomach.

And he was… crying.

"… wh…?" words were stuck in his throat; the scene was too shocking.

"D... did you ever even loved me?" through streaming tears and chocking voice, that was the first thing he said upon realizing the real Kanata was back.

"What are you—,"

"YOU HEARD ME! Did you ever even _care_ about me? Was it all a trap to lure me here?" his eyes were red and filled with grief mixed with anger.

"I love you! What are you even talking about—and why are you bleeding? And…" he moved his hand slowly to the knife's handle. He now realized how and whom stabbed him. "This?"

Momosuke titled his head, coughing blood. "Isn't it obvious?"

"…" all what he could do is craving answers from the person lying under him. Yet, it seems he won't be getting any out of him.

He was, too, unsure of what just happened. He seemed like he had a problem talking as well—and it wasn't mainly because of his wounds.

"If…" he coughed more blood. "If you really did love me then why did you try to eat me?"

"…!" that's… right. When looking better, Kanata only realized that the wound on Momo's shoulder wasn't… normal. _'Could it be…?'_ he moved his eyes down to the other's stomach.

The shirt was upright and his skin—most of it, was visible. Deep biting marks were sprayed here and there. They bled; they were deep. But unlike his shoulder, the— _whoever_ did this didn't snatch any meat out of him.

"I… did this?" the burning in his chest—caused by the knife implanted in it—started to hurt so much less compared to the burning he felt in his heart and eyes. Soon enough, tears streamed down his face. "No… this can't be…"

Maybe he _really_ didn't know about any of this. Maybe he was being used.

Seeing him like that made Momosuke doubt that his judgment was correct. Before he could notice it, his hand extended to rest on Kanata's cheek.

For his surprise, he smiled.

Kanata started to bawl. Grasping Momo's hand, he buried his forehead on the other's chest—the knife was in the way for getting any closer to him.

"It's okay… I forgive you…" was what Momosuke managed to mutter. His hand, however, dropped from where it settled.

Memories rushed to the back of his mind.

Why his father hated him.

Why his mother couldn't even look at him.

Why his younger brother feared him.

It all made sense.

And when he finally turned 18, he decided—no, he was _kicked_ out of the house. And that's how he ended up living on his own.

Not a big of a problem for an idol—he could earn enough money to support himself for _years_.

But none of that mattered anymore.

He could no longer feel the ups and downs of Momo's chest. It seems that he stopped breathing.

"No…"

He must've lost too much blood.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screaming this loud drained too much of his remaining energy.

Kanata, then, had one option, then.

He reached to the knife handle—and with all little power he had left—he pulled it out.

Allowing blood to rush outside in a heartbeat.

It didn't take long for his consciousness to fade. Soon enough, all what he met next was black.

: )


	2. Nightmare

All of a sudden, he arose from the bed, sweating and breathing hardly.

Upon the unexpected movement, his partner got up as well, "Momo? Are you alright?" rubbing one eye, he leaned on his elbow.

He froze in place, blood ran cold in his veins.

"Wh, why are you crying?" when he realized it might be serious, Kanata fully got up, eyes filled with concern. "Did you have a bad dream?"

At this point, Momo was unaware of what his body was doing.

Was he shaking?

Was he crying?

He didn't know.

"It's okay, it's okay. Everything is alright now! I'm here."

But that was the problem. _He_ is here.

Kanata tried to wrap his arms around his lover, but his lover suddenly got off of the bed. He was obviously uncomfortable by being touched by _him_ right now.

It hurt.

It hurt so much not be able to enjoy being touched by the one person you loved.

No.

What hurt the most is that you _still_ loved them after all of what happened…

…

But wait? Wasn't it a dream? A bad dream? If it was a dream, then why Momo is worked up because of it?

"I'll go to the bathroom." There was _one_ way to find out.

The bathroom was outside Kanata's bedroom. It merely took few steps to reach it. However, this time in particular, he felt the distance expanded.

It took _so_ long to reach the bathroom door. And when he did, he doubted if he really had to go inside. _'What if…'_

No, he had to do it. For his sake and… Kanata's.

Slowly, he reached to the door knob, twisting it all lightly as if he feared any creaking would attract a monster that'd jump on him and _eat him_.

He made it inside.

Standing in front of the same very mirror, he saw marks from before. Marks he admired and _loved_. But it hurt looking at them right now. It hurt so bad.

Momo felt like crying then, but he had to check something else first.

He took off his jacket only to find a weird _scar_ on his shoulder.

It was small and faint. Probably going to disappear in a couple of days, months, or even years.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the sake of finding out the truth, Momo wouldn't have noticed it at all.

He gulped; looking down at the next area: his stomach.

Hesitantly, he grabbed the edge of his shirt, pulling it upwards.

"Ugh…" he brought a hand to cover his face. _'No way…'_

Same scars scattered there. They were faint, small, and didn't seem to hurt.

But they did.

"Ugghh…" he tried to touch them, but even his hand hurt moving it closer to _that_.

' _How is this happening? The dream—,'_

His thoughts were cut by a touch, so warm and caring, it made all bad thoughts go away.

When he looked back the mirror, Kanata was there, hugging him from behind.

A hand touching the one on his face, and the other moving his other moved his hand away to rub hi stomach gently.

"Did you dream about these?"

He nodded.

"Was it _that_ bad?"

Nodded again.

"I see…" planting a soft peck on Momo's neck, he smiled. "I think they're beautiful. _You're_ beautiful." a while back, he feared he won't be able to touch Momo like this again—considering how he reacted when he woke. But oh boy, he was happy that he wasn't pushed away again.

As for Momo, he was expecting to tense up upon being kissed by _him_.

But he didn't. Instead, he started crying. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Eh? For what?"

"For everything…"

He didn't understand why he was crying, but Kanata was glad. Glad that Momo felt safe enough in his embrace to let himself cry all freely.

Kanata was happy he was with Momo now. He'll treasure him forever.

"Shall we go back to bedroom?"

He nodded.

It was still early in the morning, but Momo didn't seem like he wanted to go back to sleep yet.

Kanata suggested making him something hot to drink, Momo agreed.

As they waited the water to boil, Kanata climbed on top of Momo, kissing every scar that bothered him from earlier.

On his shoulder, he softly planted few kisses on it. He kissed his neck next, then the part of his chest that the tank top revealed.

He kissed his jaw quickly before moving down, to kiss his stomach. His kisses were soft and light, Momo felt as if his stomach was tickled by feathers or fairy wings.

Kanata smiled each time Momo made a pleased sound.

But being in this position triggered scenes from the nightmare to rush into his mind. He wasn't bothered much by them. In fact, he totally forgot about the nightmare as he felt Kanata's love and concern being delivered to him with soft and innocent kisses.

The heater beeped.

"Oh. It must be done boiling." He attempted to get up. "I'll go—," a pair of hands extended to him, stopping him from moving any further.

"No. It's okay…" smiling gently, "stay," he whispered.

From last night, when things got heated up, Momo had a problem in taking off his clothes; revealing his bare skin to someone.

For most of his life, he've been insecure by those scars he had.

The scars on his stomach were caused by an accident from his childhood. The one on his shoulder was another. He was a clumsy kid so getting scars all over was expected.

Yet, all the scars disappeared, but these…

And since he became an idol, he feared someone may point them out; make fun of them publicly.

And with Kanata, he was _so close_ to let him see them—he totally forgot they ever existed. In the last moment, he did. And he feared Kanata may find them _ugly_.

But he didn't.

"If it's a part of Momo, then I'll love it!" that's what he said.

"I wouldn't like it if you kept such things a secret from me, ok? Tell me about whatever that concerns you about your body or whatever and I'll make you love it~ hehe~" he kissed him.

God, those words were such a healer for wounds that were invisible.

"But hey, I won't force you to do anything… if you don't want to do this right now—or ever, then I don't mind! I wouldn't force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable…"

In the end, it didn't take much for him to shake his head and tell him that he wants it, anyways.

It might have been awkward at first for him, but he got used to it in the end. Actually, he grew to love this kind of contact. ;^)

Momo loved Kanata so much for it. He prayed he'll always be by his side.

And as for the dream, when Momo thinks about it now, he finds it silly.

His brain couldn't find an error in what Kanata said it had to make him… do that?

Wow. And even the part where Momo was supposed to be dead, it was yet another part of his silly dream.

Momo laughed a little as he pulled Kanata for a kiss, then a hug, then they fell asleep and the boiler got upset for not having its content emptied.

Will it ever be happy again? Who knows.

The end : )


End file.
